Some more funny moments.

Last night, Payne went swimming with my Mom after dinner. My Dad and I were sitting on the patio watching them when Payne turned to my Dad and yelled “Pappy! You put on ‘wim biper (swim diaper) too? Corn (come on)!”. So yeah Dad…where are you swim diapers anyway? Heh heh.

Today Payne and I were in the car, and he looked over at some empty train tracks that are familiar to him. He excitedly said “Der twain go! Twain working!”. It took me a good few minutes to realize that he equated the term “working” with being gone, because I always tell him that “Daddy is working” when Dan is out of town and Payne asks where he is. So, he was saying that the train was gone too. I can’t decide if this is funny or depressing!

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Progress. Finally!

I am now 34 weeks pregnant. Exhibit A:

I will be having a baby in a month people. My c-section is scheduled for July 29th. One…month…away. Holy crap.

And my husband was finally actually at home long enough to work on the nursery for me! The poor man has quite a demanding work schedule. We took down the old bed, put the baby furniture up, and he hung my beloved bunny plaques that I (cough, cough, and my Dad the hobby carpenter) spent a ton of time making!


It’s not totally done yet, and won’t be until after Nugget’s arrival. We won’t be removing the mattress and arranging the furniture into final positions until after Dan’s Mom comes to stay with us to help with the baby. I’ll probably bring our beige recliner in there, or maybe get a glider. I’m not sure yet…


The white box hung on the wall here is a shadow box. We have one for Payne too, and I will put the baby’s coming home outfit, hospital bracelet, footprints, and other little souvenirs in there.


We got the bedding from Target on clearance. It was such a steal and I love it. I guess the “theme” of Nugget’s room is Spring? Bunnies and tulips are pretty Spring-ish.

I feel so much better now.

Well crap.

I’ve started to let Payne watch the occasional movie, usually when he didn’t watch any morning cartoons. However, I think that perhaps giving a child a taste of Disney is like giving a parolee just one little hit of crystal meth.

This is how I found him this afternoon:

Yep. Sitting directly in front of the DVD player, staring longingly at our limited collection of animated movies. Oh, and he was asking in the sweetest voice possible “Mine watch movie cars? Mine watch movie kewins (penguins)? Mine watch dis one? (points to The Incredibles) Mine watch dis one? (points to Finding Nemo)”.

I told him nicely no, that we weren’t watching a movie today. I tried to lure him away from the Altar of Pixar with questions, toys, food, all to no avail. He sat there quietly for close to half an hour. Just wishing…

Crappity crap crap.

Cue the Banjos.

I wish I could think of some phonetic way of providing you with the dueling banjos segment from Deliverance….

Let me paint you a slightly more elaborate picture:

It was hot. Dan was going to be out late and Payne didn’t take much of a nap. I was feeling like too much of a pregnant heiffer to drag myself and the boy to the neighborhood pool. And damnit, I wanted my kid to fall asleep before 10 p.m., unlike the night before where he managed to entertain himself in pitch black with an empty Fisher Price Noah’s Ark and a single match box car until directly before Dan and I went to bed.

My solution? Steal (Yes, steal! No permission was asked and they’re out of town) the kiddie pool from my parent’s back yard and fill it up on my front porch. The porch was necessary because it’s the only covered outdoor area we have, and the backyard in the afternoon is comparable in heat levels to the surface of the sun. I then schlepped a kitchen chair and some bath toys out there and slapped a swim diaper on the boy (swim trunks? Psh, those are for people who put on airs).

So we were chillin in the front yard with a kiddie pool, in our skivvies (well, I was wearing sweat shorts and a tank top) for the world to see. On the plus side, I got all of my “bud-ez” (bushes) and “gas” (grass) “wawered” via giant Sonic cup (by hand folks! That’s good service)for free, and Payne went down without at peep at 8 p.m.! I need to procure some hair rollers and a cigarette for next time.

Father’s Day Photos.

Ha! I insisted on taking this photo before I changed Payne after church because I very cheesily matched Dan and Payne’s shirts on Father’s Day. Dan was so kind as to let me. Unfortunately the only photo I got was a little goofy.

I was remiss in getting a picture of Mike (Dan’s dad), Dan, and Payne all together while we were at their house for lunch on Sunday. Sorry Mike! I promise to correct that the next time we get together.

And…..

Best…picture…ever.

Here we have my Dad, brandishing his Father’s Day cookie cake, with eyes deftly averted to the U.S. Open playing on the T.V. behind the camera. Payne is posing in an oh so charming fashion with his toy pliers poised to attack his own nose, wearing his Ewok shirt and no pants. AND in the bottom left corner there you see Hannah (the resident dachshund) eyeing that giant cookie and preparing to make an attack if it lowers by even the slightest of margins. I feel like I should sent this in to awkwardfamilyphotos.com.

We’re so cool.

Weird photo, I know.

So this morning I cut my ankle shaving. You know that spot on the back of your ankle where the tiniest nick will result in Monty Python and the Holy Grail worthy gore? I cut that spot, and all I had at my disposal were Buzz Lightyear Band Aids, so I slapped one on with every intention of taking it off before I left the house.

When I got Payne up the first thing he noticed was “Mama Band Aid!” and he wanted one too, on “mine toe!” . I mistakenly put his bandage on his foot close to his toe as I thought he requested. This was NOT satisfactory and much sadness ensued until I realized he wanted his Buzz where my Buzz was.

Then I left the house for a playdate, naturally forgetting I was wearing Pixar themed first aid. I noticed once we got there and promptly took it off. Well that cut was STILL bleeding (what on earth is so important back there that requires such an impressive blood supply? Anyone know?). I’m pretty sure in most public play areas it’s frowned upon to bleed all over the equipment, so I begged a Band Aid off of my kid. At first he refused, muttering “No danks.” when I asked for his Buzz. But when I pouted and showed him my “Boo boo” he reluctantly held up his foot so I could steal it. Sweet boy.

And yeah, I now own some flesh colored Band Aids. heh heh.

A few unassociated thoughts.

Payne got reeeaaally into the Father’s Day shopping this year. Meaning he took his Grandpa’s present and dragged it all over the floor of the mall at warp speed (thus, the blurry photo). I had to abscond the bag after he used it to take a swing at an innocent and somewhat amused 11 year old.

I have now been told by both the Gymboree saleswoman and the Gymboree Outlet saleswoman that I “come here all the time!”. Ah crap. I think I need an intervention, and I’m seriously considering figuring out when the normal retail shift change goes down so I can dodge my usual salespeople. Quit shopping there you say? What? I think you’re breaking up… Listen, I have to go.

Payne has taken his energy level to a whole new high in the last month or so. It’s getting slightly alarming. I can let him run from sunup to sundown and he’s still bouncing off of the walls. I was talking about this over dinner with my parents recently and I said I was starting to wonder if he has ADD or something. My Dad’s response “He’s a two year old boy. They all have ADD.” Wise words Dad.

The other night Dan asked Payne where Baby Sister is, and Payne answered “Unner Mommy’s tee-shirt!”. Heh heh.