“My Precioussss.”

Homeboy loves popcorn. This isn’t new knowledge. However, it wasn’t until today that I found how deeply and intensely this passion for popcorn runs.

We went to the zoo with my parents today. Payne wanted a snack and I was hungry too, so I suggested to him that we get a tube o’ popcorn. This suggestion was greeted with much enthusiasm and he ripped into the starchy cylinder with gusto.

Then my Mom and I tried to get some. Payne was reluctant. In fact, I’d say he was downright pissed. My Mother promised him that if we ran out of popcorn we would get some more. His iron grip on the top of the popcorn bag relaxed a touch. We were allowed to get handfuls out of the bag with merely a moderately concerned look from its guard.

Payne spent the next hour shoving disturbingly large handfuls of the stuff into his mouth. He probably ate half of the bag pictured by himself. I was relieved when it was finally gone.

Then we passed the popcorn stand again. He remembered our promise.

I re-promised (spectacular parenting here!) that we would get some as we left, and he was calmed.

Then when we went to leave we tried to find some ‘corns, as he calls them, but found out they’re only sold at that one stand. Payne’s eyes widened in sorrow, he tucked his chin, there was a hint of a lip quiver,…and then my Dad was trotting back to the middle of the zoo as the rest of us waited outside.

When the popcorn had been presented, Payne was overjoyed. This involved some maniacal laughing. I allowed him to shove a couple handfuls into his mouth and then put the rest away for “after lunch”.

After lunch, a couple more handfuls, then it was put away for “after the train ride”.

During the train ride I had to wrestle the bag away from him and “lock” it closed with a hair tie. He was displeased with me and pouted. I told him he could have more after his nap.

He fell asleep in the car on the way home. As my father was lifting him from his car seat Payne awoke slightly and softly whimpered “Pop corns?”.


I gave him a Tupperware bowl full of the stuff after his nap. He finished it all and ate a full dinner.

All in all. I’m betting he ate a whole tube o’ corns by himself today. I had to put chap stick on him before bed because his lips were red and irritated from all of the salt. My kid injured himself with food.

Things I’m fairly certain my child would eat until he barfed:
– Macaroni and cheese from a box
– Popcorn



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