It’s So FLUFFY!

Genevieve wore a dress with an actual crinoline layer in it today.

We’re working towards an eventual goal of a hoop skirt (I kid, I kid).

Doing her best Disney princess impression:

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Liking what she sees:

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Using herself as her own picnic blanket:

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And finally, searching for her own feet:

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Heh heh.

I’m easily entertained.

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This child…

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will be the death of me.

Despite being far more cautious than her brother, she manages to be the one who has all of the more serious accidents.

About a year ago she stood up backwards in the stroller, tipped it over and ripped open the inside of her bottom lip, as well as bit off a chunk of her tongue. I ended up sitting in the middle of mall on the phone with Dan (so he could help me think, as I’m the flailer in injury situations) with a pair of little boys boxer briefs shoved into my screaming baby’s mouth. Any port in a storm, folks.

Then there was the finger pulp pancake incident of 2013, which I shall not rehash, as it simply reminds me of my own uselessness in an emergency.

And finally, yesterday we were visiting my doctor about some sinus problems I was having. I had both kids sitting on the exam table with me to keep them from ripping apart the exam room. The doctor and I were talking calmly, when suddenly in my peripheral vision (which promptly switched to slow motion) I saw Genevieve quite gracefully somersault off of the table, do a complete flip mid air, and land on the linoleum, back of the skull first.

The medical professional in the room yelled “Oh my God!” as I swooped her up. I kept repeating “I shouldn’t have had her up there” as my doctor sort of stuttered in horror. A nurse came crashing into the room to see who had been violently assaulted. We finished the appointment as I held a screaming child while wishing myself into an imaginary hole in the floor. I rushed out of there holding my sniffling daughter with a small trickle of blood running artfully down from one corner of her mouth. It said “Have I bitten my cheek, or inflicted permanent brain damage? We shall see, my friend!”.

She ended up being fine and was
chipper all evening. I, on the other hand, contemplated switching to another medical practice and ate an entire pint of ice cream.

Kids, man.

They’ve been obsessed with these kids meal prize sunglasses for a couple of days. Payne calls them “wock star” glasses.

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Genevieve ran past me yesterday and nonchalantly put this in my hand while casually ordering me to “Hoe my phone”.

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My kid is cooler than Channing Tatum. In that movie I forgot the name of where he plays a cop pretending to be a high schooler, he says something to the effect of “You never two strap your back pack. One strap at all times. The whole point is to act like you care as little as possible. If I could no strap my back pack I would”.

Payne no strapped. Awww yeah.

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I heard from behind me this morning “I take my sots off my toes!”.

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She keeps sock puppeting herself. Arg.

And finally, the little stinker stole my pear at lunch and gave me her thoroughly handled (and thus lightly salted) grapes in return. Hmph.

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Funny things my kids have done or said.

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-This morning, Payne walked up to G and said “Hi Gee-vive, what can I do for you today?”.

-When Genevieve and I went to pick up Payne from CCE this evening, they “slow mo” ran to each other as G yelled “Paaaaayyne!” then collided in a bear hug. Payne wrapped up the whole scene by picking Genevieve up off of her feet mid hug.

That right there is Mommy crack.

-Payne told me he was too tired for a bath. Um, you’re too tired to sit in some water while your personal assistant bathes you? Alrighty.

– Due to some time management issues, Genevieve lunched with me at Costco today. The options are a little limited. She ended up with half of a hot dog and half of a slice of pizza. She was ELATED, and kept switching back and forth between her two entrees, saying “I det pizza. I det ott dog.”

-The last time I picked up G from the gym daycare, she was pretty absorbed in a new toy. She looked up at me, looked back down, shot her arm out in the universal sign for “stop right there” and yelled “No!”.

Halloween is upon us.

I found a cape. A kickass dragon cape, which made Payne’s year, naturally.

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And then Genevieve needed a cape.

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Nothing appears to make a child of mine happier than a good costume.

I love them.

Well, I don’t think he’s social enough.

Payne’s favorite part of church is shaking hands with all of his neighbors.

He never misses a soul, and will tap on someone’s back if they don’t see him (or perhaps are avoiding eye contact so they don’t have to shake the hand of the boy they saw peeling dried gum off of the linoleum).

He brought it to a whole new level on Sunday though.

He shook my hand, stood back, pointed at me with both fingers, gave me what can only be described as a rakish grin, and clicked his tongue at me.

Um.

I just.

I have no idea where he learned that.

Dan suggested we teach him to pair it with “Heyyyy!” since he already has the posture down.

Well I don’t think she’s girly enough.

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Genevieve is a case study in nature vs. nurture. Nature wins.

I am not the girliest girl, and was decidedly ungirly as a child. Genevieve, however, exudes girl from every pore.

She just woke up, and in her wee little two year old voice, told me “I why door hair. Is pitty”.

That was a hair compliment in toddlerese. (Snort)